Three Irish Doctors are sitting on the beach...
I find a small parking lot on the beach and pull up to a large RV that is playing music and has a small fire burning on the beach. There were these three Irish doctors sitting on a beach…. A good opening line for a joke but in this case it’s a sad tale of woe( not really). The RV and fire were the temporary property of these three folks ( two guys and a gal). The first guy doctor was working in New Zealand at a local hospital and the Second guy doctor is his mate from medical school and the gal is his girlfriend ( both doctors ) I walked up and commented on how nice their fire is and that I hadn't seen any beach fires in NZ. They invited me to join them and in the true sprit of Irish hospitality they offered me a beer (or six ). We got to talking and I discovered that they were taking a short holiday (the couple ) and there friend was joining them for a week ( all he could get off work)
After a while I broke out the last of my rum and offered it up. They not being rum drinkers normally were a bit skeptical but I assured them that this was very fine Jamaican rum and not their everyday Bacardi. They all agreed that this was far and away a much better drink that expected and we polished it off. Not to mention all the beer they had and what ever alcohol they possessed. All the while they were keeping there little fire alive by pouring cooking oil on it. This was supposed to be a BBQ but it never took hold. After a while and the mass consumption, (at least on my part) the discussion took on a deeper tone. Topics such as saving the third world because we in the west could ( ah youth ).
Then I asked the young doctor what he was doing in New Zealand. He replied that his blankity blank blank girlfriend ( or should I say X girlfriend ) had been fooling around with some guy from central America. It was not clear if they had just met in Central America or if he was in fact from a local. But in any case what we had here was a young broken hearted Irish doctor! The conversation took on a whole different tenor from that point. All the pain and recrimination came pouring out and it turned out that his best friend had indeed come over from Ireland to help console his best buddy ( and have a nice little holiday ). Apparently I had opened the flood gates and he began to spill out all the long standing issues about the relationship. Now I’ve been in this place (but without the Irish part and the medical degree) before and tried to offer some consolation and sympathy.
He was most upset about the fact that this girl had aborted two of her pregnancies and he had felt responsible ( which in a way he was ). He knew that he was going to burn in hell for this and it didn’t matter that it was her idea and that he really didn’t have much say in the matter ( gee dude what are you going to do? Tie her up for 9 months). But he felt that he could have argued harder or done “Something” to prevent the death of his children. Oh did I mention that he was an Irish Catholic Broken Hearted doctor! He was guilt ridden, drunk and unfortunately in possession of the RV keys. He had jumped up and decided that we needed more to drink and rushed to the RV. The girl jumped to her feet and said that she should go with him as he was in no fit state. I really wasn’t worried as this was New Zealand and there would be nowhere in town that he would be able to buy booze.
They were gone for about 45 minutes which his friend and I passed the time talking about what a really nice guy the broken hearted doctor (BHD) was that he would get over his problem with time. Well time passed and they returned with an inventive tale as to how he couldn’t talk the bartender to let him take a bottle away but he ( the BHD) had fooled him by ordering a bunch of drinks that he then poured into an empted water bottle for consumption later back at the ranch. We had no sooner started passing the aforementioned former water bottle around when we were joined by a couple of Lake Taupo’s finest. That’s right the local constabulary had arrived in a policemobile. The NZ cop cars are these little boy racer cars with a really garish yellow and blue checkered color scheme. They look more like rally cars than cop cars. I knew that these folks got their revenue via traffic violations as I had seen several people pulled over for speeding earlier in the day when I drove into town. Lucky speeding is only something that Homey dreams about. But I digress. The two cops step out of the car and ask if one of us were drive the RV through town just a few minutes ago. The BHD seizing his chance for punishment (did I mention that he was Catholic) steps forward and confesses that he was in fact the driver. The cops ask if he noticed that he had hit a parked car on the way over here. “Well I wasn’t sure if I had, I though I might have hit some thing”. The police ask him to accompany them back to the car and inspect the damage. As the BHD climbs into the back of the car the three of us remaining on the beach exchange quick looks and then The friend say that maybe he should go with them just in case. We all nod in agreement. Just down the beach is a group of about 4 or 5 kids who were sleeping around a little van like mine. One of them comes running down to see what the cops wanted. They were only interested to know if we were getting kicked off the beach.
After they leave I suggest that the girlfriend and I pick up all the empty beer bottles and throw them away before they return as the cops didn’t really take the time to scan the camp site. About 15 minutes later the policemobile returns and the police start to do a inspection of the RV for damage. They also do a quick scan of the campsite. But finding no beer bottles the cops acknowledge that there is no evidence at the camp site. But they still decide to take the BHD away so that they can run blood samples. Again his friend goes along with him in the policemobile. At this point the girl and I both decide to call it a night and we head to our respective vehicles to cap an eventful night.
After a while I broke out the last of my rum and offered it up. They not being rum drinkers normally were a bit skeptical but I assured them that this was very fine Jamaican rum and not their everyday Bacardi. They all agreed that this was far and away a much better drink that expected and we polished it off. Not to mention all the beer they had and what ever alcohol they possessed. All the while they were keeping there little fire alive by pouring cooking oil on it. This was supposed to be a BBQ but it never took hold. After a while and the mass consumption, (at least on my part) the discussion took on a deeper tone. Topics such as saving the third world because we in the west could ( ah youth ).
Then I asked the young doctor what he was doing in New Zealand. He replied that his blankity blank blank girlfriend ( or should I say X girlfriend ) had been fooling around with some guy from central America. It was not clear if they had just met in Central America or if he was in fact from a local. But in any case what we had here was a young broken hearted Irish doctor! The conversation took on a whole different tenor from that point. All the pain and recrimination came pouring out and it turned out that his best friend had indeed come over from Ireland to help console his best buddy ( and have a nice little holiday ). Apparently I had opened the flood gates and he began to spill out all the long standing issues about the relationship. Now I’ve been in this place (but without the Irish part and the medical degree) before and tried to offer some consolation and sympathy.
He was most upset about the fact that this girl had aborted two of her pregnancies and he had felt responsible ( which in a way he was ). He knew that he was going to burn in hell for this and it didn’t matter that it was her idea and that he really didn’t have much say in the matter ( gee dude what are you going to do? Tie her up for 9 months). But he felt that he could have argued harder or done “Something” to prevent the death of his children. Oh did I mention that he was an Irish Catholic Broken Hearted doctor! He was guilt ridden, drunk and unfortunately in possession of the RV keys. He had jumped up and decided that we needed more to drink and rushed to the RV. The girl jumped to her feet and said that she should go with him as he was in no fit state. I really wasn’t worried as this was New Zealand and there would be nowhere in town that he would be able to buy booze.
They were gone for about 45 minutes which his friend and I passed the time talking about what a really nice guy the broken hearted doctor (BHD) was that he would get over his problem with time. Well time passed and they returned with an inventive tale as to how he couldn’t talk the bartender to let him take a bottle away but he ( the BHD) had fooled him by ordering a bunch of drinks that he then poured into an empted water bottle for consumption later back at the ranch. We had no sooner started passing the aforementioned former water bottle around when we were joined by a couple of Lake Taupo’s finest. That’s right the local constabulary had arrived in a policemobile. The NZ cop cars are these little boy racer cars with a really garish yellow and blue checkered color scheme. They look more like rally cars than cop cars. I knew that these folks got their revenue via traffic violations as I had seen several people pulled over for speeding earlier in the day when I drove into town. Lucky speeding is only something that Homey dreams about. But I digress. The two cops step out of the car and ask if one of us were drive the RV through town just a few minutes ago. The BHD seizing his chance for punishment (did I mention that he was Catholic) steps forward and confesses that he was in fact the driver. The cops ask if he noticed that he had hit a parked car on the way over here. “Well I wasn’t sure if I had, I though I might have hit some thing”. The police ask him to accompany them back to the car and inspect the damage. As the BHD climbs into the back of the car the three of us remaining on the beach exchange quick looks and then The friend say that maybe he should go with them just in case. We all nod in agreement. Just down the beach is a group of about 4 or 5 kids who were sleeping around a little van like mine. One of them comes running down to see what the cops wanted. They were only interested to know if we were getting kicked off the beach.
After they leave I suggest that the girlfriend and I pick up all the empty beer bottles and throw them away before they return as the cops didn’t really take the time to scan the camp site. About 15 minutes later the policemobile returns and the police start to do a inspection of the RV for damage. They also do a quick scan of the campsite. But finding no beer bottles the cops acknowledge that there is no evidence at the camp site. But they still decide to take the BHD away so that they can run blood samples. Again his friend goes along with him in the policemobile. At this point the girl and I both decide to call it a night and we head to our respective vehicles to cap an eventful night.
posted by CoastSide Kayaker at 11:28 PM
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